Much of the personal writing was taken from what I learnt from Walter Wink in a book of the same title.
NB. The following was written towards the end of 2005 or early in 2006.
The Hope I seek and/or reflections on fight/flight mechanisms
Some time during the 90s I began the journey of challenging those with authority over me. I discovered a lot about others that I would not have considered possible and also discovered both my strengths and my weaknesses. It followed rather naturally that this challenging extended to the Catholic Church and everything that meant to me. Questioning even what I had been taught so that what I believed began to change. The more I critiqued, the more I learned that things were not as kosher or believable at the coal face. This led quite naturally to involvement with We are Church and Woman’s Ordination movement.
After my 2005 experiences: the Witness Wagon tour, WOW Conference in Ottawa with this culminating in the ordination of women on the St. Lawrence river, I came home subdued. I had expected to arrive back in South Africa fired up to work harder at trying to expand the whole reform movement in whatever way we possibly could. Instead, I came back with a lot to process and think about – on the spectrum of my experience from happily good to the distressingly bad.
Having taken a while to digest this thoroughly (as well as reflect intensively on the Conference speakers transcripts), I would like to now ask some questions of the whole reform movement.
Are we responding creatively and positively to each other and to the Church? As Church (People of God), are we opening up, expanding, offering the Third Way to all other people? Are we eliminating us/them thinking in all circumstances?
Before anyone can attempt to answer such questions, I believe we have to look at human behaviour and how that affects the basic spectrum of ‘needs’ or goals within the movement.
We all risk over-simplification when dealing with anything crucial to human beings but I plunge into the deep end!
Walter Wink identified that most human beings prefer two responses to life: Fight or Flight. This concept was basic to his proposal of what he called ‘The Third Way’ of Jesus Christ.
The Fight or Flight responses are primitive and basic to the survival of the human race. Today these instincts are more subtle and sophisticated but still resorted to by humanity.
At the outset let me say that women need to use them more effectively today than men do because of our traditional ‘one-down’ position in most societies and cultures. However, we do not progress or grow if we stay in either of those responses too long. Also, it is somewhat evident to me within the reform movement which groups and individuals (and their disciples) lean more heavily on one rather than the other.
I need to digress slightly before I elaborate on this concept.
From my experiences on the Witness Wagon, I became acutely aware of how women today, know-ingly or unknowingly, stand on the shoulders of women who fought for women’s rights. We start with the suffragettes quite separate movements on two continents nearly one and a half centuries ago through to those whom we revere as Christian Feminists in this time: women like our keynote speakers at the Conference, Schussler Fiorenza and Radford Ruether, also Mary Hunt and others like Mary Daly, Maya Angelou - to name those who come easily to mind.
On the surface Mary Daly today appears to lean more heavily on the ‘flight’ response along with all others who no longer align themselves with or choose to remain outside the institutional Church. They may still be fighting for ‘equal discipleship’ and therefore, justice within the institution but how effective is this? On the other hand, there are groups like Call to Action, VOTF and all those who remain, refusing to self-excommunicate so as to fight for an inclusive, just and accountable Church. Their specific ‘agendas’ may also present under scrutiny a flight from ‘upsetting’ the hierarchical boat.
In trying to paint the picture of the fight or flight spectrum, I am not trying to label people or groups unkindly. I am trying to understand where I need to ‘fit’. I cannot go back to being an obedient daughter but where do I belong on the spectrum or indeed ‘do I belong at all’? I say this from the point of view that my birthright is ‘Roman’ Catholic.
I see the beautiful, Spirit-filled community of Spiritus Christi as somewhere in between these described polarities. It is an example of courage, neither a flight from the institution nor staying to fight a loosing battle. A Catholic community of possibility, trusting God and just getting on with the life of being “followers”, ministering to all God’s beloved ‘anawim’.
All the examples that can be found illustrate to me that our basic response to reality affects where we are on the spectrum of the whole reform movement.
The Third Way, according to Wink, has to be learned. If we don’t learn it we will stay stuck in either fight or flight, or vacillate between the two. We will find that one group within the movement takes a stance in opposition to another. When this occurs, the whole movement slows and perhaps may grind to an end because it will split by the exclusion of the ‘other’ who sees things differently.
Is this not happening? In some way the WOW movement is split between those who want ordination now and those who are waiting for the thinking of the institutional Church to change, for the Church to bring about a transformed priesthood.
The ‘ordination-now’ segment is fighting by saying with their actions: “your way is unjust and we will be priests in answer to our calling by the Spirit. If you won’t change or even dialogue with us we will do it our way”.
The ‘waiting-for-renewal’ segment is fighting by appealing to the consciences of those with authority: the persistent plea for justice as depicted by the parable of the women and the judge.
‘Ordination-now’ people are in flight from perceived institutional injustice. ‘Waiting’ people are in flight from disturbing the system!
If it is not possible to align ourselves under one umbrella movement, operative with unity in diversity, then it is not possible for us to give birth to an ‘inclusive church’. Are we practising a better way of being Church now?
Do we believe that the Magisterium embodies something that should be honoured? If not, what would we put in its place that could and would be honoured by most Catholics? The advocates of non-violence taught that if we despised the people who governed us, even then we were accepting the very same premise that upheld apartheid. If we argue that the men filling magisterial posts at the Vatican are morally inferior beings, then we reduce ourselves to their moral level.
If women gain equal status in the Church, would the centralised power-holding hierarchical system be dismantled? I can hardly believe that – the existing signs show ‘business as usual’! We know the formulation of doctrine, dogma and canon law has been the task of a few – will we find a better way of doing this essential task? I know that God wills order not chaos.
Is it only the system of governance that needs to be liberated or does the reform movement need liberation? Is it the system that needs deconstruction? Vatican II was the Church’s attempt to deconstruct that which was too tightly constructed. What is being kept tightly constructed within the reform movement?
It is only because we submit to the principle of canon law that we demand that unjust laws be made ‘just’ in the first place. In this case, we are willing to suffer on behalf of a higher law in order to promote transformation and healing of the Body. We need to show those with power that their power is on low-charge i.e. without women ‘power’ it will never achieve Christ’s vision of touching the lives of all from East to West, North to South. As Mary Hunt said: Pope Benedict XVI expressed a theo-political preference for a smaller, more homogenously conservative, some[what]leaner/meaner, church. And, I say, does not ‘see’ the reason why his ‘preference’ is prophetic. Mary also said: I [mourn] the failure of religious imagination. To that I would add: I mourn the failure of religious inspiration.
What is the litmus test for authentic Christian ‘reform-minded’ movements today? What is the purpose of the Third Way? Are we overly identifying with the system and neglecting our duty to the poor and marginalised? Who or what should be transforming us? Richard Rohr says we cannot afford to even hate in our heads!!
Mary Hunt seems to be saying that we must get on with being women-church and her broad criterion for feminist ministry is inspiring. There is very low key feminist ministry within the Roman Catholic Church here in South Africa. Our only option is to align ourselves ecumenically. Certainly a rewarding path I am sure but what sort of demonstrable stand would that be in my fight for justice within the RC?
Miraculous change to the system of governance in South Africa happened without bloodshed because of the groundswell of goodwill amongst the majority of people. We need to ask impelling questions of those who prop up the system; those who are seemingly unaffected by the injustices that we perceive. We must win their respect and not leave ourselves open to their ire. Our questions must be asked individually as well as collectively from our groups. It is not important that we get answers but the right questions will cause others to think and hopefully lead to strong feelings in the cause of fair play etc. Only then will we be able to help them overcome their guilt and shame which holds them captive to the system.
Commitment to equal discipleship, a more equitable system for decision making, liberation within the walls of the Vatican, collegiality, justice in the ranks of the laity is NOT enough - especially if we are attacking existing Church structures and not, at the same time, building on the good that exists.
We must not forget both our own complicity in and our past complacency which allowed the coming to be of that which we now oppose.
I think the ‘warnings’ in the keynote address of Elisabeth S Fiorenza – as well as Mary Hunt’s address – were really saying: We seem to be trying to do ‘it’ just like those whom we oppose. Another wise quote from Richard Rohr which I think he got from Walter Wink: If you fight something or someone long enough you will become a mirror image of it! You become the very thing that you oppose.
The Third Way is a spiritual journey. It is not an out-of-body experience, it is very much to do with how we should live in the reality of our world. It is Jesus’ Way and it is impossible to do alone. The recognition of our dependence throws us into the arms of God and Grace. Then perhaps we can see clearly that the oppressor, the system, is riddled with fragmentation, back-stabbing, personal agendas, clerical careerism – all being power struggles which conspire to work against the system itself!
Walter Wink: Either we find the God who causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good, or we may have no more sunrises!
We must not lose our prophetic ministry in the quest for change in the institutional Church. We must have a clear vision for a transformed Church and not fight power and authority to gain power and authority. If we are challenging the morality or the legality of church hierarchical impositions, then we have to do so legally and with impeccable morals. Can we achieve this?
I am sure that I have to do whatever I am capable of to fight for equal discipleship. The whole ‘women in a one-down position’ in whatever situation is something that I will expend all my energy on trying to reverse.
However, I am no longer sure that I want to bother with including a transformed ordained priesthood in my agenda. At this moment of my life, I doubt radically the whole concept of clericalism. In other words, I would rather focus on our royal priesthood because Christianity takes place there. Christianity needs the priesthood of the faithful crucially for its very survival let alone growth. It is clear that Christian religious systems, not only Catholicism, need people who understand, live and love their ‘royal priesthood’ in Christ.
It is the Eucharist that I need which is the only Achilles heel to my thinking and,at heart, I want both sides to win! The strength of the feminist movement is its inclusivity!
Finally, I have worked hard at formulating these questions as well as formulating my reasons for having to do so. I have to acknowledge that I was inspired by two (maybe four) very wise crones who influenced me but also the person who drove me to its completion was Jenny Sprong who is seeking ordination in the Methodist Church here in South Africa. Witnessing her struggle and the accompanying painful soul-searching has been heart rendering. The catalyst to a definite commitment to journeying with all women like her – no matter the cost!
I might add that Jenny has been influenced greatly by Elisabeth Schussler Fiorenza and she is presently pushing both DVD’s and transcripts of both our aforementioned two WOW Conference speakers. This is a very ‘catholic’ action for me as it brings to light that all women need to struggle with the same ‘blind’ oppressor across the spectrum of religion.
Rosemary Gravenor
Durban South Africa
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This was the first response in January 2006 sent to David Gawlik [mailto:dgawlik@wi.rr.com] of Mirabile Dictu who posted it on January 23, 2006 11:37 PM
Dear David of Mirabile Dictu,
I would like to respond to Rosemary Gravenor's article: "WOC of Durban, South Africa." The article reflects a very sincere, earnest journey of faith linked to the women's ordination movement. I truly appreciate her description of fight or flight reactions of people in the church renewal movement, and her proposal of Walter Wink's concept of 'The Third Way' of Jesus Christ.
She feels that both sides of the women's ordination movement (the 'ordination-now' group and the 'waiting-for-renewal' group) are both engaged in a 'fighting' game with the hierarchy (only their strategies are different) in their attempt to bring about church renewal. She may be right in her assessment. However, I don't agree that it has to be as she describes.
Personally, I believe the 'ordination-now' group, represented by the RC Womenpriests Movement, shows indications of pursuing 'The Third Way.' Rosemary writes: "The 'ordination-now' segment is fighting by saying with their actions: "your way is unjust and we will be priests in answer to our calling by the Spirit. If you won't change or even dialogue with us we will do it our way."" In my view, the RC Womenpriests Movement does what it does out of prophetic obedience to the will of the Spirit to lead God's People to God's Way. In this respect, they are doing what Jesus did in his time, and what we are all called to do in our own time. The RC Womenpriests Movement is not fighting the hierarchy (in fact, they are doing everything possible to avoid conflict with the hierarchy, e.g. ordinations take place in international waters, avoiding episcopal territorial authority); rather, the movement chooses to model a non-clerical, servant-leadership form of priesthood akin to the 'Way' that Jesus taught/teaches us: show people how God loves everyone, especially the downtrodden, and help energize their God-given creativity so that God's Plan can happen.
Now Rosemary responds that she "would rather focus on our royal priesthood because Christianity takes place there. Christianity needs the priesthood of the faithful crucially for its very survival let alone growth. It is clear that Christian religious systems, not only Catholicism, need people who understand, live and love their 'royal priesthood' in Christ." This is true and desireable. But it is theory. It will not happen in a vacuum. We live in history just as Jesus did. We need ordained servant-leaders who can show the way to realizing the priesthood of the faithful. We need a new model of ordained ministry that operates, not against, but rather outside the box of the clerical model - the strictly construed sacramental model of priesthood. I believe the RC Womenpriests Movement reflects that vision, and, in striving to make that vision a reality, its members are following the path of 'The Third Way.'
Blessings!
François Brassard, Ladysmith, BC Canada
Gratitude is the law of supply!
Corpus Canada: www.corpuscanada.org National Married Catholic Priest Association
Xristos Community Society: www.xristos.ca Building Small Faith Communities
Ministry Without Borders: www.ministry-without-borders.org
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This was my response to François Brassard
Sent: February 9, 2006 6:14 AM
To: IMWAC-english@yahoogroups.com
Cc: David Gawlik; ckfb@telus.net
Subject: HOPE AND THE REFORM MOVEMENT
Dear concerned others
I appreciate François Brassard’s
My concept of ‘fighting’ is, in this context involving institutional R.C. Church (or indeed, Christianity): opposing, taking action which directly opposes teachings. Flight could also be a withdrawal from conflict!
Of course we don’t want romancatholicwomenpriests to follow the example of clericalism based on patriarchy! I am not saying or believing that these women are not being obedient to the Spirit. The Third Way, in essence, is struggling – in a relationship with Christ – to live right! In Walter Wink’s words: Jesus’ Third Way is not a law but a gift! It establishes us in freedom, not necessity. It is not something we are required to do, but enabled to do. It is a ‘Thou mayest’ not a ‘Thou must’.
Francois agrees my point regarding the priesthood of the faithful but says it won’t happen in a vacuum. Of course, it cannot possibly happen in a vacuum. Who would tell us of Jesus? It is happening, surely, in the ministries so well described and named by the keynotes at the WOW Conference. These ministries and small Christian communities are all operating without any ordinations to priesthood. It is further well documented that small Base communities have grown up largely as a result of the vacuum of priesthood! (Please read Like His Brothers and Sisters subtitled: Ordaining Community Leaders by one of South Africa’s working retired Bishops: Fritz Lobinger).
At present, I believe I am being ‘prophetically obedient’ to the Spirit. Why else would I try and clarify my thoughts like this? As far as the ‘Church’ is concerned, I am in a very lonely place.
Allow me to come at all this from another tack.
I am the product of a very dysfunctional family and have to work at learning to overcome its toxicity.
The hallmark of a dysfunctional family is denial. There is a definite tendency towards deception and the members live their lives in anticipation of a crises happening. Their lives are marked by, to say the least: anxiety! In short, they are expecting – all the time – all the wheels to fall off.
Living in this state for long enough, the whole ‘personality’ of the family, influencing the individuals, operates on toxic energy. When you begin on a negative foundation it is most likely that the end result will be negative. There is a great need to try and control others as well as situations.
As a first step, the only way out is to admit there is a problem (metanoia) and acknowledge one’s powerlessness (recognise the source of real Power) - very much the needed entry to Jesus’ Third Way.
The parable of the lamp under the bed – for me – is telling us not to live in denial of reality. (Our secrets are our weaknesses). Moreover, that which is hidden will be revealed or disclosed means we cannot live fully human lives unless we acknowledge these weaknesses. The total acknowledgement is the beginning of the process/journey to having our weaknesses turned into our greatest strengths. Why did the body of the risen Christ still have the marks of his wounds?
The emphasis on hearing causes me to recognise that we have to ‘hear’ inwardly (responding to the Spirit within) in order to deal with what we ‘hear’ outwardly i.e. reality; what is really real and not just our perceptions of reality.
I have used this knowledge as a basis for coming to the conclusion that the institutional Church is dysfunctional.
The reform movement has no power over the institutional Church. We have to show it how much harm it is doing, or rather, how there is more harm than good emanating from it.
How do we assist the Church get out of denial, secrecy, exclusivity? How do we show that all perceived ‘crises’ do not need more control measures but a different approach to bring about a renewal in the hearts of humanity?
Maybe Benedict XVI was inspired to this end with Deus Caritas est!
END
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
From François Brassard on 18 February 2006 09:45 PM
Dear Rosemary,
Thank you for your reply. I would like to make a few comments that, hopefully, might advance the dialogue.
As a psychotherapist married to a highly gifted psychotherapist, both of us immersed in 'family systems psychology,' I would agree with your assessment that the 'institutional church' is dysfunctional, largely mired in control issues, and almost completely in denial about the whole situation.
I very much like the way you frame the question of how the People of God might respond: "How do we assist the Church get out of denial, secrecy, exclusivity? How do we show that all perceived ‘crises’ do not need more control measures but a different approach to bring about a renewal in the hearts of humanity?"
Certainly, angry confrontation will not enable the hierarchy or the far-right conservative minority to willingly acknowledge and dismantle "fortress Catholicism." As any therapist knows, you can't force a patient to take the responsibility for their healing. You can only employ strategies that enable the person to understand the harm they do to themselves and to others, at the same time showing them a way out of their dilemma, making it clear that the choice for following a healing path is theirs.
Personally, I am enheartened by the incredible variety of creative responses of church renewal groups that model a healing path in keeping with the message of Jesus. As we are incapable of doing this on our own, I am convinced that this is happening out of 'prophetic obedience' to the call of the Spirit. It is not without cost, both personal and communal. It's the gift of the cross willingly accepted, as Jesus modelled, that brings about the ongoing Resurrection. This, I believe, is the Love that Benedict 16 is talking about in "Deus caritas est."
Concretely, I am a married Catholic priest 'in good standing,' a member of Corpus Canada which is a member of a world-wide organization of married Catholic priests. I would say that none of us wishes to do battle with the Vatican or the local hierarchies. But we do have different strategies for engaging the People of God. Personally, I am delighted that I am no longer a clerical priest and that I am free to exercise a priestly ministry "outside the box" of the hierarchical model, something more akin to the worker priest model of France, something, as I understand it, more akin to the servant-leadership style of Jesus.
Now you have pointed out that one does not need to be an ordained minister in order to exercise a Jesus style of ministry. You are quite right and I am wonderfully encouraged to see so many Christians, men and women, exercising such ministry. Does this mean that we do not need ordained ministers, that we do not need married Catholic priests like myself, that we do not need RC Womenpriests like Michele Birch Conery of Parksville, B.C.? I believe that we are all needed, that we all have a gift to give, and that if we all give it as Jesus did, God's Plan will happen.
Blessings! Francois Brassard
Corpus Canada: www.corpuscanada.org
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Last, I also include a womanpriest perspective:
Subject: Thank you for your article
Date: Sun, 29 Jan 2006 23:16:22 -0800
(victoriarue)
Dear Rosemary,
I've just finished reading your article in which you reflect on your experience of WOW. I thank you for your very thought-filled weighing of the complex issues of fight/flight, reform-waiting, Fiorenza & Hunt--and the Danube movement. I am one of the 4 women ordained womenpriests on the St. Lawrence last summer. And I'm also glad to hear that you were also there.
Mary is a dear friend. And we have grappled with the question, how can a feminist use the corrupt model of the priesthood to make change. I grappled with many of your questions prior to my own ordination process, even during it. For me and for all the women who are part of Roman Catholic Womenpriests, we are firmly committed to a discipleship of equals. What makes this possible for me, at least, is that I am working as a womanpriest to enact something that I call "performative resistance." By that I mean, on the level of theology and our bodies, we are conscious of our roles as agents of change. In performative resistance we embrace the role of priest, and we use this symbol to subvert the paradigm. In our performative resistance we seek to keep traditions that honor all people, including women. We also seek to reveal and subvert those traditions that do not do this. We work from inside the tradition to change it, renew it, re-imagine it. As worker priests, we deconstruct the pathology of the male priesthood, its myths, its gendered exclusivity, its misogyny. As womenpriests we seek the fresh air of shared power, no more the elitism of clerics over lay people. So, as the saying goes, you cannot just add women and stir. And yes we are women of the long view.
Perhaps these few thoughts will be part of what I hope will be a continued conversation with you. Blessings to you and all that you are doing to transform our church.
Victoria
Dr. Victoria Rue
516 Vivienne Dr.
Watsonville, California 95076
